I woke this morning to a different color light. Late summer holds a unique space for when the surging of the natural world peaks, the last of the flowers set buds and the chorus of organisms climaxes. Generally we come by this phenomenon as a sensation. We may not be totally tuned into the intricate individual pieces of the transformation, but a subtle key change is detected. The Sun has a different power at this time in the season. The momentum of silica ejected from our planet begins to slow and the energetic see-saw slowly falls back into the digestive, lime driven nature of the colder season. The weather may stay hot for the next two months, but the overall picture is changing and we can feel this as our own spirit begins to burrow deeper within.
On Monday, August 21st, Timpson Creek Farm was fortunate enough to be on the path of totality for the 2017 Solar Eclipse. The intensity in the air as we prepared for the event was overwhelming. It felt like the individuals around me were walking the landscape totally exposed. They carried a rawness in their form that was usually covered up in the tidy dressings of social normativism and emotional barriers constructed to protect insecurities and inner villains. With these typical force fields offline, the community around me was engaged in sometimes difficult, but always remarkable conversations and interactions. It was as if the coming of the event lifted the need for experts and somewhat forcefully beckoned of us to admit our tiny place in this unfathomably complex reality.
As the actual event began to unfold, the color of the air changed. A purplish hue saturated the trees and shrubs and tinted the flowers as the sky began to darken. While it is mostly impossible to explain, the quality of the air changed as the light did. It was as if you could see it, in between things; as if a seamless web was revealed that was connecting all things to all other things. The revelation of this connection was so strong, in fact, that it could almost be felt on the skin. Before the metamorphosis of the landscape could be processed by the mind, the moon overtook the power of the sun at a maddening rate of speed, reaching totality. The crickets began to chirp, a local pack of coyotes sang, and the morning glories across the meadow began to close. Our hearts raced, we howled and cried and in just another moment the sun exploded from the other side of the moon. Morning song birds shared a few notes and we all stood in awe with the halo of the eclipse etched into the walls of our minds forever.
I know for certain that this portal brought different, necessary lessons to each individual viewer of its process. I have been looking around ever since, struggling to find my footing and yet feeling as though this new sense of disconnection is the wavelength I was meant to align with. All of the people in my life have suddenly revealed themselves as being a part of myself. Their experiences and perceptions, insights and problems all budding fractals of my own experience with infinite possibilities and outcomes. All of the circumstances in my life, both positive and negative have revealed themselves as physical manifestations of my internal battles. What must be explored in the internal realm is made known in the external realm simultaneously and must be dealt with in both. This is an empowered step away from the fear driven life I have been leading since the moment I opened my eyes in this world.
That doesn't make the journey much easier, however. I see the world at odds; everyone choosing a moral compass and invalidating anyone who doesn't see it the same way. We're caught up in believing that there is one right side to a duality and we aren't acknowledging the swing. That both light and darkness exist in each of us and the conquering of the evil in this realm is derived from the compassion towards and upliftment of all.
I carry forward from the event once again feeling completely humbled. Recognizing that the farm, a little piece of land that went into shadow at 2:40 PM on a Monday in August was a part of just one small strip in the revolution that day and but one small blip in the overall cycles of the sun and moon. I see the divided nature of our world right now as the great divides that crack the foundations of my inner most self. I witness the need for knowledge and love to mend those wounds and to inspire the creativity that can preserve this paradise we call home for revolutions to come.
I will continue on my path in this life trying to nurture living systems that carry a natural sentience; ecosystems that do the incredibly important job of holding in place the holistic web of our individual and group consciousness,. I may never understand it all, or exist in a constant state of peace, but the striving for such things prevents my mind, body, and soul from stagnating. Tempering logic with heart, and emotions with facts, avoiding all dogma and shedding the need to know it all. My post eclipse self is potentially more confused than ever, but infinitely more willing to continue living and changing on this incredibly beautiful planet Earth.